"...It got so bad, to the point where, I had to pinch myself or punch my thighs as a way to let myself know I am alive and that this will pass..."
Hi, my sweet friends. I am so excited to announce that I will be starting a series on my blog called real talk. In real talk, I will share blog posts raising mental health awareness with the twist of bringing hope to it. Along with mental health, I will also be talking about body image, friendships, dating/marriage advice, and so more. I am excited for these series; it is time to bring light to these topics.
Please continue reading to learn about my battle with anxiety.
It all started around the time when I came home from college at the end of 2014. I had chosen to not return back after Christmas break (for personal reasons) and grew extremely upset as I saw everyone else return to school. Everything changed in an instant. I no longer felt energized or motivated to do anything. It literally felt like the life in me got sucked right out. I would lay in bed all day and cry. I remember the only thing that could take my mind off feeling this way was watching the entire season of Friends. I definitely was going through more than just not wanting to do anything. In my head, I was at war with myself. I knew I existed but I couldn't feel myself living. I was living this outer body experience and it absolutely sucked! I would also get this immediate and intense sensation in my chest that made me think I was to pass out from all the dizziness and numbness. It got so bad, to the point where, I had to pinch myself or punch my thighs as a way to let myself know that I am alive and that this will pass. I tried to explain to my family what I was feeling/going through and they said it was all in my head. They weren't wrong, but I still felt like they didn't fully understand how emotionally and mentally draining it was, and still is.
I did some research because back then I wasn't too aware of mental health and after long hours of researching, I came to the conclusion that I had depression and anxiety (yep - self diagnosed myself. Don't do this. Go see a doctor!) I booked an appointment with a doctor immediately because I wanted to get the help to make myself feel normal again. After I explained everything to the doctor, he told me I had depression and anxiety (nothing severe), so he prescribed me medication. One thought that he shared with me that I still find interesting to this day is the weather has a lot to do with our emotions. If the day is cloudy and gloomy, our emotions will reflect just that. It made a lot of sense to me because when it was in the middle of January when I was first experiencing this.
Once I arrived at the pharmacy and received my medication I could never bring myself to take them. I didn't know what were in those pills and what they would do to my body. I had thoughts like, What if it made me feel worse? What if I rely so much on this medicine it becomes an addiction? So many thoughts and concerns.
I finally reached the point where enough was enough. I needed to find a way to get better. After searching for so long, I finally found some ways that work for me and I would love to share it with you guys!
First off, it's important to know what anxiety is, the symptoms, and why it happens. Also, understand that this may help and it may not. There are many different types of anxiety. Go see a doctor, talk to someone you trust, and do what works best for YOU.
1). DEEP BREATHING
Inhale, exhale. Repeat. Until it passes.
It helps my heart rate decrease and I slowly get myself to calm down.
2). VICKS VAPOR RUB AND/OR ESSENTIAL OILS
I know Vicks is to be used for coughs, but it works wonders for my attacks. I apply it underneath my nose, chest, and the bottom of my feet. The pure smell relaxes me and that is exactly what I need to be. I apply essential oils to the same places and does the same effect. The fun thing about essential oils is that there are so many scents to choose from and can be mixed them so you're not just stuck with one smell. Different smells will help with different emotions and struggles.
3). DISTRACTIONS
Call a friend, read a book, watch a movie, etc. Personally, what I love to do to distract myself with is photography and blogging. Also, try sensory experiences such as rubbing an ice cube on your neck or gently pinching yourself to let your body and mind know that they are one and alive.
This is my happy list: falling asleep whilst reading, people watching, all day breakfast, good people, the sound of rain on my roof, writing and receiving letters, sleeping, pjs, people who are passionate, libraries, music, pinky promises, making lists, late nights, messy hair, cuddling, eating yummy food, sweaters, camping, warm places, old books, great memories, the night sky in the country, scarves, , Paris, books you can’t put down, candles, being in a good mood, new albums, jokes that make me laugh so hard I can no longer breathe, becoming friends with people you never thought you would, butterflies, thunderstorms, snuggling down in lots of pillows, good hair days, feeling alive, giant hugs, chocolate, my family, holding hands, soft blankets on cold nights, summer weather, staying up late, and sleeping in.
What is your happy list? I promise when you write one and think of it, it will instantly make you feel better.
4). FAITH
This is a huge one for me. When I was first experiencing the attacks, I truly felt alone and like I couldn't be understood. I turned to God by reading my scriptures more frequently and praying constantly. Although I made the personal decision to not take medication, I know God created physicians, psychologists, medicine, and treatment to help us. I also know that God wants us to turn to him in prayer, always, but He also made it possible for us to get support through other reliable sources. If you're not religious, still have faith. Faith comes in many different shapes and forms; just by simply believing that everything will be okay can be sufficient.
Here is your reminder that although anxiety attacks SUCK, they all come to an end.You will get through this. You are loved. You are not alone. I hope this blog post helped you in some way.
What do you do that helps you get through them?
If you ever feel like talking to someone, please don't hesitate on reaching out to me through the comments, emailing, or messaging me through any of my social media links found at the top, side, and bottom of my site and we can talk as if we've been best friends for life.
All the love,
Yessica Sarahi.
Instagram | Pinterest | Twitter | Tumblr
I did some research because back then I wasn't too aware of mental health and after long hours of researching, I came to the conclusion that I had depression and anxiety (yep - self diagnosed myself. Don't do this. Go see a doctor!) I booked an appointment with a doctor immediately because I wanted to get the help to make myself feel normal again. After I explained everything to the doctor, he told me I had depression and anxiety (nothing severe), so he prescribed me medication. One thought that he shared with me that I still find interesting to this day is the weather has a lot to do with our emotions. If the day is cloudy and gloomy, our emotions will reflect just that. It made a lot of sense to me because when it was in the middle of January when I was first experiencing this.
Once I arrived at the pharmacy and received my medication I could never bring myself to take them. I didn't know what were in those pills and what they would do to my body. I had thoughts like, What if it made me feel worse? What if I rely so much on this medicine it becomes an addiction? So many thoughts and concerns.
I finally reached the point where enough was enough. I needed to find a way to get better. After searching for so long, I finally found some ways that work for me and I would love to share it with you guys!
First off, it's important to know what anxiety is, the symptoms, and why it happens. Also, understand that this may help and it may not. There are many different types of anxiety. Go see a doctor, talk to someone you trust, and do what works best for YOU.
1). DEEP BREATHING
Inhale, exhale. Repeat. Until it passes.
It helps my heart rate decrease and I slowly get myself to calm down.
2). VICKS VAPOR RUB AND/OR ESSENTIAL OILS
I know Vicks is to be used for coughs, but it works wonders for my attacks. I apply it underneath my nose, chest, and the bottom of my feet. The pure smell relaxes me and that is exactly what I need to be. I apply essential oils to the same places and does the same effect. The fun thing about essential oils is that there are so many scents to choose from and can be mixed them so you're not just stuck with one smell. Different smells will help with different emotions and struggles.
3). DISTRACTIONS
Call a friend, read a book, watch a movie, etc. Personally, what I love to do to distract myself with is photography and blogging. Also, try sensory experiences such as rubbing an ice cube on your neck or gently pinching yourself to let your body and mind know that they are one and alive.
This is my happy list: falling asleep whilst reading, people watching, all day breakfast, good people, the sound of rain on my roof, writing and receiving letters, sleeping, pjs, people who are passionate, libraries, music, pinky promises, making lists, late nights, messy hair, cuddling, eating yummy food, sweaters, camping, warm places, old books, great memories, the night sky in the country, scarves, , Paris, books you can’t put down, candles, being in a good mood, new albums, jokes that make me laugh so hard I can no longer breathe, becoming friends with people you never thought you would, butterflies, thunderstorms, snuggling down in lots of pillows, good hair days, feeling alive, giant hugs, chocolate, my family, holding hands, soft blankets on cold nights, summer weather, staying up late, and sleeping in.
What is your happy list? I promise when you write one and think of it, it will instantly make you feel better.
4). FAITH
This is a huge one for me. When I was first experiencing the attacks, I truly felt alone and like I couldn't be understood. I turned to God by reading my scriptures more frequently and praying constantly. Although I made the personal decision to not take medication, I know God created physicians, psychologists, medicine, and treatment to help us. I also know that God wants us to turn to him in prayer, always, but He also made it possible for us to get support through other reliable sources. If you're not religious, still have faith. Faith comes in many different shapes and forms; just by simply believing that everything will be okay can be sufficient.
Here is your reminder that although anxiety attacks SUCK, they all come to an end.You will get through this. You are loved. You are not alone. I hope this blog post helped you in some way.
What do you do that helps you get through them?
If you ever feel like talking to someone, please don't hesitate on reaching out to me through the comments, emailing, or messaging me through any of my social media links found at the top, side, and bottom of my site and we can talk as if we've been best friends for life.
All the love,
Yessica Sarahi.
Instagram | Pinterest | Twitter | Tumblr
